Friday, 22 March 2013

Board Horde Version 1

Right, then!

For the last few months I've been working on an RPG Board Game titled 'Board Horde', and I've finally managed to knock it into a vaguely presentable sort of state. 

I still have lots to do (there's no sound yet, only three boards, various bits of art need changing or updating etc.), but I thought I'd post a link to it here in order to get a bit of feedback. 

Board Horde Dropbox Link

It will eventually be intended for larger touch-screen devices, as well as desktop, so feel free to test it on whatever you can (although it's touch screen enabled, a mouse should work as well) and report any findings. There's a couple of bugs which occasionally surface (the Change Places potion malfunctions from time to time), but if things go hideously wrong you can always press the Board Horde logo at the top of the screen to reset to the menu.

Game Rules:

The basic aim is to get your three characters from the entrance to the exit before the other player (currently the game is for two human players, though I plan to put AI in, and a third player at some point).

You have three character classes, which have different strengths and weaknesses. They are as follows:

Mage: Best with potions, weakest against enemies, and has a medium chance of setting off traps.

Rogue: Okay with potions, okay against enemies, least likely to set off traps.

Warrior: Bad with potions (may suffer ill effects), best against enemies, most likely to set off traps (on account of having eaten one too many pies)

Traps are currently represented by squares that look like grey piles of rubble (I'll make them look a bit more fiendish when I get the chance)

Potion Effect: 

Haste: Doubles the characters moves.
Teleport: Moves the character forward a certain amount of squares (range differs depending on character class)
Invincible: If the character lands on an enemy, automatically wins.
Feather:  If the character lands on a trap, doesn't set it off.
Change Places: Switches places with the member of the opposition who is furthest ahead on the board.
Death Pulse: Destroys any enemies within a certain radius of the character (range differs depending on character class)
Slow Down: (only for warriors) Halves the movement speed on the dice (the number is rounded up, so it's still possible to move if you roll a one)
Enfeebled: (only for warriors) Gives the warrior the strength of a wizard when he next lands on an enemy.
Bloated: (only for Warriors) Sets off the next trap that the warrior treads on. 

Anyway, that should be enough info to get you started. Feel free to make any suggestions for improvements (please bear in mind that the HUD profiles are out of date, and the text objects are in some cases there to replace SFX etc), and stay tuned for further updates!

Right, must go write those comedy sketches I've been promising Fran for the last month...

- Dave

Board Horde Screenshots

Well, hurrah and huzzah!

I've finally managed to iron out most of the bugs in the board game I'm working on, and am almost ready to reveal the rather rough around the edges version of the game.

In the meantime, here's some screenshots, and the menu screen.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Board Game Backgrounds

With the first somewhat rough version of the computer Board Game I've been working on getting close to completion, here's a few backgrounds that I've knocked up on the ipad to go with the game.  They're liable to chance in the final version, but they'll do for now!

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Not A Lot Of People Know That Vol 2

Huzzah!  The sequel to Not A Lot Of People Know That has just been released, and is free to download from Smashwords (with more online distributors to follow).

Here's the blurb:

'In the second volume of David Hailwood and FJ Riley's ridiculously accurate Not a Lot of People Know That, we learn that all winning Lottery numbers add up to 56, the University of Life is a real place, and 36% of Mexican waves are started by fly-swatters. We hear the story of the world's least successful fake hermit, and discover why the Isle of Skye is populated almost entirely by injured celebrity chefs.  Based on literally minutes of painstaking research, Not a Lot of People Know That Vol. 2 is the most well-informed book since Not a Lot of People Know That Vol. 1.'

The book can be downloaded here:

The previous book is available here:

Both myself and Fran were rather surprised at how well it's done (especially since the bulk of it was written on the bus, and in the pub).  Out of 240 free humour books on itunes, it's currently placed at number 2.  It's had several hundred reviews, and I've decided to capture my favourites from the Barnes and Noble site as some of them are quite brilliant.   It might also give you some indication as to why were we considering naming the sequel 'Marmite'...  

‘If you enjoy satire and humor, you will LOVE this book!’ –blkeyesuzi

‘This was such a stupid book’ - Laura_V

‘Nothing really makes sense, but its not supposed to. Its trivia for the brain dead. Haha.’

‘Rather nice, Monty Python meets MAD magazine.’

‘Most of the stuff in there is either something a sicko would say or its not true.’

‘It frightens me that so many reviewers 'werent sure' if the info was true or not’

‘It's hilarious reading some other people's reviews. They say that the facts are hard to believe. Well that's because they are not real facts!’

‘If I read another review that uses the term fact in reference to this book, I'm calling the president and demanding more public school funding. This book was obviously intended as humor. For those of you who find some of the "facts hard to believe" there's good reason for it... your an idiot!’

‘The facts arent correct!’

‘Most of these facts I dont believe. I am a very skeptical person and this book, while interesting, really pushes the boundries of believable.’

‘Some facts are pretty interesting and other are hard to believe, but nonetheless I feel a little more knowledgable’

‘This book is one of the most entertaining things i have ever read!!!!!’

‘WASTE OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘Any douche bag who hates this book has a lame sense of humor.’

‘Pure, unadulterated crap’

‘Ok this book is really funny i mean it says stupied things but it is soooooooooooo funny.I really want to meet the author of this book and tell him/her how good this book is.You just have to get it.:)’

‘Every single word that spews from the author's hideous mouth is stupid and untrue. Rome wasn't built in a day, but this book probably was... Basically, it sucks the balls it tells you to cut off if you get measles!’

‘A good read if your not looking to use any brain power.’

‘Like a lot of things in this world, it doesnt make sense. But then maybe it does. A not so straight and square outlook on certain topics.’

‘This book isn't true so don't be upset if u read it and become dissapointed. But the book is really funny. My mom was having a bad day and I let her read some of the book it completely made her day. This "fact" book is definitley a favorite of mine and don't think yuck facts.’

‘To every one who called this book stupied: GET SOME SENSE OF HUMER ANYONE WHO CALLED THIS BOOK STUIPIED YOUR SO FAT AND UGLY U DONT KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT. To al of u who said it was funny awesome cool and halares : u are awesome’

‘it would have more value as a weight for your recycle bin.’

‘First off the facts are fake so stop writing reviews saying you don't think the facts are right and I think it is a funny book and if you don't undersrand it then your an idiot’

‘There were probably about 500facts in this book i never even knew existed!’

‘Not the slightest bit accurate’

‘it was difficult to tell fact from fiction.’

‘So is all the stuff in the book true as in real proven fact?? I dont get it if this book was a joke book or a fact book.’

‘This book is funny and there was some cool facts. But some i didnt believe, like this one (pg. 64: Until the 18th century, castration was the only way to cure measles.) Castration is cutting off your balls for men. To women, ovaries. You would cure measles but youd die anyway thanks to having no balls!’

 ‘Typo, "...not a lof..." That's hilarious’ (Authors note:  Blast!  Someone noticed!  Fortunately we paid a higher grade of monkey to write the sequel (after they’d finished ghost writing their latest Barbara Cartland novel) so with luck there will be less spelling errors)

 ‘My school bought like 300 copies of this. It was waste od their money.’ (authors note: quite right, since it’s FREE!)

‘It was ffunny and claver but kinda stupid’

‘Didnt read’


‘My favorite was "if u drink pepsi and coke mixed together u will die." Its funny cuz ive done it b4.’

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Temple 13 Out Now!

The latest issue of the Temple APA comic showcase is out now, containing work from the usual bunch of rapscallions, such as Simon Mackie, Tony Suleri, Paul Eldridge and Dirk Van Dom.  The issue is assembled by Malcolm Kirk, who also drew the rather marvellous creature feature cover.

Anyway, it's 44 pages long, entirely free and can be downloaded from the main site here:

For those who wish to contribute to the next issue, the deadline is 26th May.  Newcomers are always welcome!